No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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