I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This toilet bowl is my home.
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