Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And then the night went full on bisexual.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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