God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
