You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize