tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
