I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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