sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
