I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
