youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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