Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
