and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
