There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
