My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
