Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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