I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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