We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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