If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
