They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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