my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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