I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize