They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
