I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
