You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
