Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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