From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
