My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
