A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
