yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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