I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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