there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize