Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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