Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
