what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
