was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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