Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
