I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
