so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pants are for mortals
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
