the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
