Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
