Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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