Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
