butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize