Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
