Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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