It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
