If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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