what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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