i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
