You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
