i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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