Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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