Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
