So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
