i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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