my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
