This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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