well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this boner is exhausting
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize