This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
