sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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