I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
