Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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