I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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