This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
