Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
